kind and good

you say you can’t help it

because you’ve seen me in the sunshine

but I’m not that bright

not tonight

I’m broken, and still bleeding

and I’d like to do better

but I probably won’t

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level 3

some days you take deep sucking breaths as you drive

you cry in your car in the parking garage

your hands shake as you press the elevator button

you find your way to hug a hurting friend

and don’t say a word about your own heart

because it’s not so bad in comparison

the thief of joy can sometimes remind you to find it

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words, just words…

you keep saying these words

they catch in my chest

fluttering and tightening

causing me great pain

I don’t think you mean any harm

in fact, I think you mean them

just as you say them

just as I hear them

but they cary such weight

and I’m afraid I’m my measure may be off

I’ve given space in my chest before

real estate bought on credit, never paid off

I don’t know if I want your words to settle there

take root and grow something

but you keep saying these words

it’s been months and months

and maybe years since anyone’s said them

without prompting

and I’m afraid you won’t want to pay the mortgage

that the idea of farming here won’t satisfy

that after a time

prestige and knowledge and pretty faces

will lure you away

from the kind of words that hold you here

from the kind of work that makes you sweat

from the kind of life that isn’t easy

from a settled pace in the place I am

and once again fields will lie fallow

and my chest will empty out

and the ground will crack

but you keep saying these words

I hope you know what they mean

 

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savage grace

the raw places rub

deep within your chest

heavy heart beats

and you wish it didn’t

because hearts break

and sometimes heal

the wrong way

and catch

as catch can

isn’t the way to love

when kisses from strangers

hurt less than love

from friends

we need savage grace

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