lack of trust

In the morning’s light

Something’s still not bright enough

And shadows linger

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beast

shaking off the cup of coffee I drank

too late in the day for my well-being

and too soon I hear her circling me

she snarls quietly to remind me

she’s near, that anxious beast

setting my teeth on sharp edges

and making my neck stiff behind me

because enough is never enough

for her and maybe it isn’t enough

for you either, or me, or we

so I breathe deep and shout out

her name until she leaves

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knowing

you shine light into my dark

places where no one ever goes

and warm the corners where

I’m knocking away the cobwebs

and chasing shadows

from underneath my bed

I understand your silence

my eyes speak it, too

so I will be your shelter

and you will be my home

our hopes will twine together

and something good will grow

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when it wrinkles

like the spaces in between breathing

and places in between living

where the skirt is folded

and I am there and you are here

and time moves and stands

and flows in its way, and ours

and my breath catches

as we both know the words

that haven’t been said

but are loud and clear and known

as the stars burn out and die

and I see them alive in your eyes

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good morning

I feel a little like Pavlov’s dog

responding at the sound of the bell

as my phone chimes and I grin wide and silly

I reach out to read the sweet words you send

while my heart is skipping and adding beats

like it’s going to burst right out of my chest

perhaps it’s a rushed and foolhardy folly

but locking joy in a cage to keep it safe

doesn’t make me want to sing

Photo on 3-12-17 at 10.12 PM #2

 

nice and quite and calm

of course I’ve been told

to be nice and quite and calm

like the flower I am

but sometimes flowers

have thorns

and teeth that gnash

of course I wouldn’t think

of biting him back

for the harsh words

that land

on my thick thighs

that cary all the weight

of our world

and knot up in the depths

of my soft stomach

it’s grown children

who were so wanted

and now know

what it feels like

to be told

to be nice and quite and calm

but I have taught them

to bare their teeth

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